Almost every human interaction is based on power. But what do you do when someone commits an act so vile and repulsive that there is no retort you can give at that moment?
Sometimes, someone who you trust breaks your heart in a horrible way. Sometimes, someone does something that you know will poison your relationship beyond repair. What do you do in such a situation?
You plan your revenge. And like all good revenge plots, yours needs to be very well planned. As the saying goes, revenge is a dish best served cold. The ideas on our list will hopefully allow you to create and implement your very own revenge fantasy.
Whether you want to enact your revenge fantasy on a heartbreaking ex-lover or a sociopathic boss, this article will definitely help you put your plan in action.
Best Revenge Products on Amazon
In case you don’t want to outsource your revenge plan and get revenge on someone you hate yourself, you could buy your own revenge gifts and create a personal revenge plan to put someone through. Or you could go through the list we’ve already curated for you right here and incorporate our products into your already elaborate plan!
1. Liquid Ass
Liquid Ass is what you get when you concentrate the essence of a fart into one 1.6oz spray bottle. This product is not for the faint of heart – or for those with weak stomachs.
The smell is so strong that a single spray will be enough to evacuate an entire room – spilling the entire contents of the bottle will cause a massive scent stampede away from the area of origin.
Some people have reportedly been unable to remove the smell from cars, even after repeated cleaning. This should give you an inkling of how strong the product is.
Just to clarify, it doesn’t smell exactly like a fart – it’s a combination of some of the worst smells in the world, from a dirty butt crack to a dead animal. Liquid Ass is the quintessential all-rounder of bad smells.
And the best thing about it – nobody will be able to tell that you’re the culprit behind the overpowering stink! Unless you’re caught with the bottle, you’ll remain completely anonymous.
Have you ever been to an event experiencing a dearth of parking space only to see some jerk parked smack in the middle of two, or even three, parking spaces?
Such situations are perfect for the unleashing of these Bad Parking business cards. Just fold one in half and slide it under the windscreen wiper. The dolt who owns the car will read the personalized message inscribed on the card, and will hopefully park better next time.
Do this, and you’ll not only get your revenge, but you’ll also laugh hysterically when you witness your target’s reaction upon reading what’s on the card.
Are you a regular prankster who’s already worn out the old Roger the Dodger prank book you share with Jared Leto? Maybe it’s time to move on to more professional jokes.
This fake pregnancy test will fool even the most discriminating skeptic, but it probably won’t even come under that much scrutiny. After all, who would fake a pregnancy test? Except you, you sicko!
Make your girlfriend or wife think she’s pregnant with this always positive pregnancy test and have some fun with her before you tell her the truth – you may hear some surprising opinions on what she thinks about starting a family!
Want to put a hex on someone? Trying to work a love spell on your bitchy ex? If so, this voodoo doll is the perfect item to aid you in your endeavors.
The doll is about seven inches tall and comes with voodoo spell cards and a cardboard coffin box with real voodoo symbols inscribed on it.
Write your target’s name on it and put the doll where you know they’ll find it – you’ll have the pleasure of watching them freak out as they think there’s a voodoo priest after them.
So you got the voodoo doll as a prank but now want to try out some real voodoo on your target. After all, what harm could it do?
Use this voodoo doll spellbook to discover the best way to use your doll and wreak chaos in your target’s life, but don’t point your newfound power in only that direction!
While voodoo dolls are most often depicted as instruments of evil, some people prefer to use them for personal gain and development. Read the book to find the best ways to use your new voodoo doll to improve your own health, wealth, and general lifestyle.
6. Fake Roaches
Fake roaches. They’re like real roaches, but they’re fake. However, these fake cockroaches look incredibly realistic and will have your friends jumping on tables if they see them.
You get 12 cockroaches for less than two dollars, and these roaches are big. About one inch in length, they’ll be doubly effective on friends with a known fear of cockroaches.
Another wonderful thing about these prank roaches is that you can use them again and again, and they won’t lose their effect!
Throw one into a crowd at a party for maximum effect and enjoy the ensuing chaos as much as you can while rolling on the floor as you laugh your heart out.
In case you don’t want to use the websites above to send your targets poo, you can buy this and send it yourself. It may be more work, but it’s cheaper and ultimately more satisfying to conduct your revenge plan using your own hands.
This fake poop looks and feels incredibly realistic, but lacks the smell of actual poop. Maybe spray it with some liquid ass to make its effect even stronger?
Put it in a friend’s bed or shove it into a target’s mailbox and you’ll have the perfect practical joke or revenge plan!
8. Giant Vomit
What pairs well with poop? Why, vomit, of course!!
This giant vomit blob looks extremely lifelike and will fool anyone who looks at it at first glance.
It may not hold up to closer inspection, but only someone with an ironclad stomach will want to inspect it any further.
The vomit even has chunks in it, giving the impression that someone vomited a plateful of half-digested food.
Introduce it a dinner (or any event involving food), and you may be able to induce the real version of this product!
Who isn’t scared of snakes? They’re slippery, slithery, and gross! And some of them also bite! It’s the perfect combination to create one of the most reviled reptiles on the planet.
Take advantage of this primal revulsion by pranking someone using this yellow rat snake replica! It’s colored to look like an actual rat snake and has dead, unblinking, frightening eyes – basically, snake eyes.
Molded into an actual snake pose, this rubber snake does not look like it’s made of rubber and is perfect for use on anyone with even the slightest fear of snakes.
Combine it with the fake roaches to convince someone they’re suffering from some old-fashioned Old Testament Godly wrath.
While actual, physical revenge feels pretty good, it doesn’t really accomplish much. In fact, if you look at it logically, it’s simply a waste of time and money. Plus, it could foster an unhealthy ‘eye for an eye’ mentality, where every slight has to be repaid tenfold, whether it’s intentional or not.
Sometimes, it’s just best to move on and focus on yourself. Remember, you’re living not to prove yourself to anyone else, but because it’s your life.
Forget the person you slighted you and pour all your emotion into your own life, and you should see results in a few months. That’s when you’ll whip out this t-shirt and parade your success in front of your unsuspecting target.
Or you could throw a realistic rubber snake into their balcony. It’s your choice!!
Best Revenge Websites
Is it petty to enact revenge on a backstabbing friend? Definitely. But does it feel good? Once again, definitely. Use the revenge websites below to get revenge anonymously on someone you hate.
Have you ever known a jackass who deserves nothing less than a massive, floppy dick in his or her mail? Ship a Dick is the perfect way to ensure such people get exactly what they deserve.
And if it’s not enough that you get to ship a dick to your enemy’s place, you even get to choose what kind of dick they receive. From a 29” Dick-O-Lantern to a whole bunch of dicks in a box, you get to choose exactly what kind of dick the recipient will get.
Just knowing about Ship a Dick is an incredible amount of knowledge, so use your newfound power wisely. Maybe it’ll be a bit harder since we’ve partnered with Ship a Dick to get 15% off for all you readers using the coupon code ‘GAGWdick.’
Use this in combination with Shit Express to give the shittiest, most dickish people in your life exactly what they deserve, and make sure they know exactly why they’re getting it using a thirty-character custom message that will accompany the dick to their house.
And like every other product on our list, Ship a Dick is completely anonymous – nobody’s ever going to know what you did. Now get out there and ship someone a dick – we promise you’ll feel much better afterwards.
Masters of Revenge is a sick, twisted website dedicated to making people’s lives miserable. In other words, it’s the perfect tool for your revenge.
While most of the other websites on our list focus on a specific area, Masters of Revenge will go to whatever extreme of dickery you want them to.
Want to send your victim a fake dog turd? Check. Want to create a website dedicated solely to getting your ex off her high horse? They got you. Need to photoshop someone into a sexually explicit position? No worries!
There’s a reason Masters of Revenge is at the top of our list. Just having access to this website gives you a huge amount of power, so please, please, exercise it responsibly.
Sadly, we can only be betrayed by those close to us. And more often than not, it is those closest to us who hurt us the most.
Relationship hurts are often the deepest and most painful, but at least you can now get your ex back for all the pain they put you through. If you’ve been treated like trash by your ex and you think it’s time to get some revenge, this site is perfect for you.
They offer the perfect range of products for the jilted lover who needs to see his -or her ex-lover hurt to achieve closure and move on with life. From voodoo dolls to tarot cards to revenge packages, they’ll do it all for you.
Ruin days does exactly what their name suggests – they ruin days. They specialize in shipping the most annoying products to anyone hated enough to deserve them.
Although they do have other options such as smelly poop in a box and butthurt packages, their main products use glitter in one way or another.
If you want to send someone a spring-loaded glitter bomb, Ruin Days has your back. In fact, you can even choose to use super-fine glitter if you really want to mess up your enemy’s day. It can take months to fully eliminate fine glitter from any area!
While glitter may not seem a big deal, remember that it gets everywhere and is almost impossible to remove. Select any one of Ruin Days’ glitter products and make your enemies suffer through a glittery nightmare!
Ever known someone who was simply a piece of shit? Someone who was so shitty, they poisoned every interaction they were in with the pervasive stench of their shittiness?
Shit Express provides the perfect means for dealing with such turds: sending them actual turds. The website offers an impressive variety of animal shit that you can choose to send to that hated person.
They offer free worldwide delivery and provide total anonymity. In other words, they offer all the satisfaction of a good revenge prank with none of the fear of being caught that usually accompanies such pranks.
Visit their website today to send a box filled with organic horse shit to your least favorite person.
The Payback is a site that runs on a single axiom: "Don’t get mad, get even."
The website is dedicated to enabling you to get even with anyone, whether it’s a nosy neighbor, a crappy co-worker, or a previously significant other.
They have a ton of payback ideas that they are all too happy to allow you to use to show your true feelings for that hated person – if you want to. The normal course of operations keeps your identity anonymous throughout and gives you access to an impressive number of revenge pranks.
Revenge Supermarket is another revenge service along the lines of The Payback – a revenge fantasy fulfillment utopia that doesn’t define itself as belonging to any particular niche.
The website contains something for everyone, from greeting cards that will reduce the subject to tears to anonymous text messages that will leave them shaken. These are actually some of the tamer options since you can even send your target a ‘gift’ chosen by the Revenge Supermarket team – or by you if you want to take a more hands-on approach to your revenge.
Prank Candles is much more lighthearted than some of the others on this list. It focuses more on practical jokes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use their products to enact your revenge.
Among their top products are their prank candles, which will leave your target gagging. They smell lovely when they’re first lit, but start emitting a disgusting stench once they’re nearly halfway done.
The candles are available in several flavors such as Sweaty Ass, Dirty Fart, and even Baby Diaper. And while you may be wondering how bad their candles smell, trust us – they smell horrible!
The company does do anonymous delivery but doesn’t offer much else that would interest a revenge seeker. However, the uniqueness and accuracy of their products mean they can play a memorable part in any revenge prank.
A hilarious gag you can play on your friends is to ship them nothing!! Prank Candles can pack a few boxes inside each other like Russian dolls and give a friend a pleasant surprise – which will quickly turn to confusion and disgust.
This is another website that isn’t for the faint of heart. Boxed Revenge gives you access to a number of disgusting and twisted gifts that will leave your target gagging.
Mummified lizards, dead scorpions, a realistic tarantula – do they sound scary? That’s because they are goddamn scary! Boxed Revenge gives you access to a bevy of options you can use to scare, disgust, or simply gross out your target.
Send a box containing dead arachnids or pig shit, and you can rest assured your target will realize that someone, somewhere hates them with burning passion.
And there you have it! Above is the ultimate guide to any revenge fantasy. Whether you want to do the dirty work yourself or want someone to do it for you, you’ll find an option in one of the lists above!
Go through them and concoct your very own devilish, fiendish, and humiliating revenge fantasy. Be sure to let us know how it works out for you!
Or you could go the healthy way and let go of all the emotion you’re feeling. It’s definitely harder, but it’s also much better for you in the long run. Who knows, maybe that person you hate so much isn’t so bad after all!
Advait Joshi is a freelance writer who loves anything to do with technology. If you don't find him working on his blog at, you'll probably find him wrapped up in his sheets reading a good, long novel.